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So- I've decided that I love to read other people's blogs- so I am going to work on writing on ours more often! So- if you stopped checking this since we never updated- start checking it again because I am going to get into this again! :) We are doing great. Eden is getting HUGE! She is quite the little chunky baby. At her two month check she was 12 1/2 pounds! She likes her milk! She is a very good baby, but has a strong preference for mom, and sometimes screams for anyone other than mom. But that means she is bonded to me- so that is great. She is a very good sleeper and is very happy and smiley! Aniah is doing great as well, she has kind of regressed with the potty training- but it's still early - so we will work on it more later. She is quite the girly girl and loves to play with her kitchen set and her dolls and talk on her pretend cell phone. She repeats any word you ask her to and talks a LOT! She is at a great age though and very fun! So I was thinking the other day of all the questions we get about our children and about adoption, and since we are pretty much an open book I thought I'd try to answer some of them for everyone!

Why did you choose to adopt?
We chose to adopt when we found out we had a very small chance of having biological children. We wanted a child and not a chance of having a child with fertility treatments, so we chose adoption. It was a very easy choice for both of us since we had talked about wanting to adopt someday.

Why did you choose to adopt African American children?
When we found out about New Horizons and began researching them we heard about their interracial placements. I don't remember a conversation about what races we would be open to, but both of us were open to child of any race. We felt that God was in control of our adoptions and God would choose the child that was right for us. The first referral we got in our first adoption process was for a child of Hispanic/ Native American heritage. When that birth mother chose parenting, we were referred a child who was Haitian, when that didn't work, God chose Aniah to be our daughter, and she happens to be African American. God worked in our adoption process and chose Aniah especially for us! In our second adoption, we chose to adopt a child of African American heritage or African American bi-racial heritage. Once again we were going to get a baby boy who was African American but that was not the child God has chosen for us, so we got Eden who is bi-racial. We wanted our children to share the same culture and heritage and to have each other in a community where African American people are not very common.

Do you plan on adopting again?
Of course- I have always wanted a large family. Five would be fantastic, but Ryan says three and that we are requesting a boy next time. I guess if there is one thing we have learned through infertility and the adoption processes is that we are not in control and God knows what children will be brought to our family.

Do you still struggle with infertility issues?
Yes- there are times that it is very sad for me to not be able to know what it is like to be pregnant and carry a baby, and feel that baby move inside me, and give birth to a child, and to see Ryan and myself reflected in a child. It is especially hard when a family member tells us they are pregnant or when they have children, and also when I hear pregnant women complaining about being pregnant or acting like getting pregnant was so easy and say "we didn't even have to try." Does this mean that I am not happy with how God has given us children- absolutely not. We are blessed beyond any words that God chose us for adoption, but sometimes it still hurts to not know what it is like to have biological children or to feel the miracle of pregnancy.

What type of adoption do you have?
Aniah's adoption is a closed adoption. Aniah's birth mother chose to have a closed adoption. We send pictures and letters to the agency if she should ever want to have them. We respect her enough and realize the gift we have been given to know that she loved Aniah enough to go through a remarkable amount of pain to place her for adoption and admit that she would have a better life with someone other than herself. So- going into our second adoption we said we would prefer semi-open or closed because we didn't know how we would handle our second child having contact with birth parents and Aniah not having any. BUT in the end God chose Eden for us and Eden's birth mother chose to have an open adoption. We have decided that the girls will be told the same thing- that their birth mother's loved them enough to go through an incredible amount of pain to place them into what they felt would be a better situation and give them the best life possible, but each other their birth mother's chose that on-going communication or not having communication would be the most helpful to them to get through this process. So- I have heard some say- Closed adoption is nice- you don't have to deal with the birth mothers. Well here are my thoughts on this. Having worked with many amazing birth mothers- who I have had the privledge in getting to know and witness their love and courage to choose adoption- I feel like being able to know who my children's birth mother is, is a huge blessing. It is something very special I can share with them later on in life and to be able to know the amazing woman who chose life and gave me the greatest blessing in the world is an honor, so if she wants things from us- like pictures, updates, e-mails, or even phone calls, then I need to respect that is what is helpful for her to go through this process and she has given me so much, how can I deny her such small requests.

SOOO This post is getting TOOO long- so I will save some of my words of wisdom :)or ramblings- for another day! Hope you are all doing well!
-Heidi