When placements don't work

I haven't really talked to anyone about the little boy that was going to be ours before we got Eden. I still think of him often and pray for him and his family everyday. I still cry when I think about him and the loss I feel from losing our first son. Most of you probably do not understand- but he was ours from the time we heard about him and felt very connected to him and his birth mother. We named him and we were convinced that all was going to work out because his mother was so sure of her placement plan, we could not have foreseen the unknown birth father who came forward the day he was to leave the hospital. I can't say for sure- but the loss is comparable to a miscarriage in my opinion. It is amazing how we didn't even need to see a child to feel this connected to him and feel like he was ours. I know that he wasn't meant to be ours and Eden was meant to be our daughter, but the pain of these losses in the adoption process are very hard to go through. We also had losses in the process of adopting Aniah. We were matched with a birth mother, met her, and she chose to parent when the child was born, we were matched with another birth mother and talked with her on the phone and were also convinced that her baby was to be ours, but she in the end chose to place her child with an African American adoptive family instead of us, and she was not our child, but Aniah was. God knows the perfect child at the perfect time. Of course God gave us the "right" children, He has blessed us beyond words with Aniah and Eden, who were specially chosen just for us. In reality of the other placements had worked or if they hadn't fallen through at those exact times we would not have gotten Aniah and Eden, it is amazing how God puts families together and the miracle of adoption. Without adoption we could not be parents, the most amazing of all callings in the whole world. So- although the adoption process is so very hard- it is so very worth it- in the end I know God gave us the right child at the right time and trust that God has a plan for all those in the adoption process, even when situations don't work and we feel immense pain and sadness. I get to do something for our first son though, and the two children we had the privilege of learning about before we got Aniah- I get to pray for them.